On a More Serious Note or: Fuck You Cancer

What the hell, Cancer?

I just found out today a woman I went to high school with has ovarian cancer.  She and I were not close friends.  At best, we could be described as acquaintances.  Hearing the news of her illness today affected me in a way I didn't really expect and took me quite off guard.

I got really weepy.


I mean, I am not a callous bitch. (Just a regular bitch, thankyouverymuch) I do get feelz.  For instance, I can not hear the song "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" from the movie Frozen with out my throat becoming uncomfortably painful, and tears spilling from my eyes. This reaction just kind of floored me.

I don't know if I am just entering that time in life where people my age start dying, or what.  It just seems like there has been a lot of this happening and I think it really sucks.

I have always really been able to "hold it together" but now it just seems like I can't anymore.  I had another friend from high school lose her mom last year.  Anyone who knows me knows that my mother and I are seriously best friends.  When my friend lost her mom, (to ovarian cancer, dammit) I seriously could not look at her with out just openly crying.  All I could think about was how I would feel in her place and quite frankly, for lack of a better term, it fucked me up.  Just thinking about it now, I am about to lose my shit.(I apologize for the blue language, but you are kind of getting a dose of Cassie Unfiltered here. )  Another friends' 14 year old son has been dealing with cancer and chemo for the last year.  I can't even wander into the realm of feeling there- children?  Fuck that.  Fuck Cancer.

*big sigh*

I don't know where I am going with this.  I just needed to acknowledge my feelings. I have friends that are like "Everyone dies, so and so is lucky" and to that I say bullshit. In my head of course, (we are really too old to be so confrontational.  Unless it is on Facebook, in a comments section of a Tea Party post.  But I digress.)  Somethings are good, somethings are bad.

This thing, is bad.

In the words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

Thanks for reading.

Well, Well, Well... I simply have no excuse. 2013 regurge.

One of my friends from high school was talking about standing in the shower and thinking of all the things that had gone on in the past year.  She said "OH CRAP, I better start writing some of this shit down!." That got me thinking. I have blog, and have had one for nearly ten years.  Yes Dear Reader, if you are reading this now, I have had this for ten years this coming September.  I remember I started it because I wanted to talk shit and be able to remember all the adorable things that my children do/did.  
     Everyone has the best of intentions with their first child. They go whole hog, scrap booking and keeping memories.  Then the second one comes and, not so much.
     So, in the spirit of continuity, I will do a regurge.  It's been a long time since I have done one.  now I have to go get my phone and get some pictures of of it to post.  I know I don't have to say that I will be right back, because you don't actually know I am gone, but I will say it anyway, just to be contrary.  
 Be right back.

That took a while.  Not that you know that, but it did.  I got a case of what I like to call "Cindy Smedley Sidetracked" I was making photo collages, because too much happened this year, so I had to consolidate space.  

Of course I like to take silly pictures with the kids.  We all know this.  It's a fact.

Also, I am huge on costumes.  I made Ayman an Obi-Wan Kenobi costume for Halloween a couple years ago.  We got to use it again for Star Wars Night at the Stockton Thunder.  So much fun.  I also made Jennah a bad ass Princess Leia costume, because sewing your own damn costumes is a lost art and also, BECAUSE I CAN.  For Halloween, which is the picture on the right, Ayman was Jack Sparrow, and Jennah was a Pirate Wench.  My mom totally scored a great pirate costume with hat; it was a little small so some modification was in order.  Also, I made him a wig bandanna combo from a cheapie mask my mom had in her costume trunk.  We topped it of with a pirate beard and make up and BOOYAH, Mommy rulez!  Jennah and I had a great time thrift store shopping for her costume bits.  That girl can shop.

We also had a year of fake moustaches and broken right arms.  

So, Ayman broke his arm in August.  He fell off his bike because he hit a curb, because of his desire to be FIRST at all times.  I hope he took something away from that experience.  Jennah broke her arm in early January, (I know it is in 2014, but I am lumping it with 2013 for posterity)  Let me tell you how, dear reader, since this is for you too.  Ayman and Jennah call our bedroom "The Training Room".  It has a big Cal King bed, and the kids wrestle with each other.  Roughly.  They have just always done it.  This time, big brother accidentally stepped on Sissy's arm.  You know how when your kids cry, you can tell from the tone if something is really wrong?  Well, I heard Jennah make a noise of pain. Then she said, "I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry.... " It was at that point I threw my laptop on the floor and hauled ass back into the bedroom to see why she wouldn't be crying.  Due to a policy I have called "If One of You Ends Up Crying You're Both in Trouble" they didn't want to tell me a thing.  I waived my normal policy on that night.  Ayman was torn up- he was sad he hurt his sister, and terrified he would be in trouble.  Jennah was cradling her arm and doing what can be best described as Lamaze breathing.  I took her to the urgent care, it was xrayed and splinted, and we went out to the county for a cast the next day.  What a difference, let me tell ya.  Ayman was damn stoic about his broken arm.  He wept silently.  Jennah, not so much.  Ayman had tylenol with codeine the night of the break.  Jennah was asking for pain meds three days later.  She really is her mother's daughter, just as Ayman is his father's son.  Genetics are fun, huh?

The above picture is just so cute.  I picked the kids up from school in December and decided to take them to Panera for some hot chocolate, a cookie and some conversation.  They're adorable.  I am not biased at all.  

     So that is about as many pics as I will post, Ayman turned 10 last year and is in the fourth grade.  His teacher is Ms. Wendt.  He loves to read.  In about August, he started reading the Harry Potter books.  By the end of the year he was pretty much done with them.  Now he is reading The Percy Jackson and the Olympians series.  We went to his teacher conference and he has read, get this, 600k words since the beginning of the school year.  He loves to read so very much.  It warms the cockles of my cold, dark heart. Jennah turned 8 last March.  She is in the second grade, and her teacher is the same second grade teacher Ayman had: Mrs. Ellis.  Jennah's reading is coming along wonderfully. Jennah's big thing is art.  She loves drawing pictures, making jewelry and just about anything that exercises her creativity.  She is a thoughtful and sweet young lady.  I am so proud of the both of them.

     On a personal non-child related note, since September I have lost 48 pounds.  Amr and I joined the gym and I have been going regularly. Between my mom, dad, brother and I we have lost about 250 lbs.  My brother has lost a whopping 100lbs!  It's really awesome. Amr and I celebrated our 13 year anniversary at the end of July.  Time does fly!

Also, if you are just joining us, I do not try to pretend that I am a professional writer.  So please, if you feel the need to grammar/punctuation nazi me, don't. I just don't care.
   
There is the regurge.  Hope you enjoyed it.  I would promise to do better, but I am sure that I won't.