Tuesday, February 11, 2014

On a More Serious Note or: Fuck You Cancer

What the hell, Cancer?

I just found out today a woman I went to high school with has ovarian cancer.  She and I were not close friends.  At best, we could be described as acquaintances.  Hearing the news of her illness today affected me in a way I didn't really expect and took me quite off guard.

I got really weepy.

I mean, I am not a callous bitch. (Just a regular bitch, thankyouverymuch) I do get feelz.  For instance, I can not hear the song "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" from the movie Frozen with out my throat becoming uncomfortably painful, and tears spilling from my eyes. This reaction just kind of floored me.

I don't know if I am just entering that time in life where people my age start dying, or what.  It just seems like there has been a lot of this happening and I think it really sucks.

I have always really been able to "hold it together" but now it just seems like I can't anymore.  I had another friend from high school lose her mom last year.  Anyone who knows me knows that my mother and I are seriously best friends.  When my friend lost her mom, (to ovarian cancer, dammit) I seriously could not look at her with out just openly crying.  All I could think about was how I would feel in her place and quite frankly, for lack of a better term, it fucked me up.  Just thinking about it now, I am about to lose my shit.(I apologize for the blue language, but you are kind of getting a dose of Cassie Unfiltered here. )  Another friends' 14 year old son has been dealing with cancer and chemo for the last year.  I can't even wander into the realm of feeling there- children?  Fuck that.  Fuck Cancer.

*big sigh*

I don't know where I am going with this.  I just needed to acknowledge my feelings. I have friends that are like "Everyone dies, so and so is lucky" and to that I say bullshit. In my head of course, (we are really too old to be so confrontational.  Unless it is on Facebook, in a comments section of a Tea Party post.  But I digress.)  Somethings are good, somethings are bad.

This thing, is bad.

In the words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

Thanks for reading.


  1. sucks. sorry you and them are struggling with this. cancer is a huge. joy. sucker. found out today about two other huge joy suckers that are getting people I know and love. addiction and depression. I've been crying too. so, here's to everyone getting through one more day and all the people that can give all the people who are struggling a little joy, a small smile or better yet a big laugh. that's all I got. :o(

    1. Thanks for that Monica. I'm not gonna lie, this sucks. It is a Joy sucker. Gah. *shrugging* I am going to go listen to "Let It Go" from the Frozen soundtrack. Idina Menzel, not that Demi Lovato crap, and i am going to sing. Horribly. Sometimes it helps, other times it makes my cat howl and children cry, but i will take what i can get.


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