On a More Serious Note or: Fuck You Cancer

What the hell, Cancer?

I just found out today a woman I went to high school with has ovarian cancer.  She and I were not close friends.  At best, we could be described as acquaintances.  Hearing the news of her illness today affected me in a way I didn't really expect and took me quite off guard.

I got really weepy.


I mean, I am not a callous bitch. (Just a regular bitch, thankyouverymuch) I do get feelz.  For instance, I can not hear the song "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" from the movie Frozen with out my throat becoming uncomfortably painful, and tears spilling from my eyes. This reaction just kind of floored me.

I don't know if I am just entering that time in life where people my age start dying, or what.  It just seems like there has been a lot of this happening and I think it really sucks.

I have always really been able to "hold it together" but now it just seems like I can't anymore.  I had another friend from high school lose her mom last year.  Anyone who knows me knows that my mother and I are seriously best friends.  When my friend lost her mom, (to ovarian cancer, dammit) I seriously could not look at her with out just openly crying.  All I could think about was how I would feel in her place and quite frankly, for lack of a better term, it fucked me up.  Just thinking about it now, I am about to lose my shit.(I apologize for the blue language, but you are kind of getting a dose of Cassie Unfiltered here. )  Another friends' 14 year old son has been dealing with cancer and chemo for the last year.  I can't even wander into the realm of feeling there- children?  Fuck that.  Fuck Cancer.

*big sigh*

I don't know where I am going with this.  I just needed to acknowledge my feelings. I have friends that are like "Everyone dies, so and so is lucky" and to that I say bullshit. In my head of course, (we are really too old to be so confrontational.  Unless it is on Facebook, in a comments section of a Tea Party post.  But I digress.)  Somethings are good, somethings are bad.

This thing, is bad.

In the words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

Thanks for reading.