Please someone weigh in on this for me.
Does anyone else feel totally selfish for craving all alone time?
This weekend my son and husband went to the bay area so he could visit some of his friends. I have no real desire to go with them, and I work on the weekends so, naturally I don't attend. That, and the fact that all of these guys speak Arabic, so it would totally bore the pants off of me to go. Anyhoo, they were supposed to leave on Friday, but the baby had strep throat. They couldn't go. We waited to see how he was the next day. He was better by Saturday morning so Amr said they would go. But not until 6 pm. Okay, I was totally offended that he was going to wait that long to go. I wanted the Mommy time to start right away, as I would be working that night, and still had to take a nap before work. I kind of got ugly about it. For that, I am not proud. I was fighting for my time. DH (darling husband) gets time like that,(when I stay over at my moms, or go away for a trip, as I have done in the past.) but as he says, he doesn't do anything with it because he has no friends here and he works during the week. Am I wrong to want that kind of alone time? Time where I can scratch my butt, lay on the couch in the same clothes I wore to work, eat a hostess cupcake and goggle in front of the TV? Or prepare a snack without being as stealthy as a cat burglar, looking at the clock to see how much longer the baby will be asleep? I just want to chill. Quietly. Read a book, or take a leisurely shower. I can do all those things when he visits the Bay Area, and I love it. It is a vacation.
Well, today the mommy time ends and it was a nice mental health break.
I must add that my husband is extremely competent around the house and with the baby. He helps and does a lot. For that, I am grateful. He takes care of the baby on the weekends when I work, and that is awesome. I know, I know, I sound ungrateful and terrible. I know this. But sometimes I yearn for that completely alone time.
I would never change anything though. When I was single, I partied a lot, as some of you out there know, but I was lonely. It wasn't a bed of roses. What is? (besides a bed of roses, I mean?) I would never change a thing about anything in my life now. I love my husband and son very much. I hate that when I stand up for this time, that I feel awful, terrible, neglectful, selfish (insert more adjectives here folks....) about doing it. My husband says I make him feel like he doesn't do anything to help. Nothing could be further from the truth on that, sincerely. I don't mean to make him feel badly. I guess I just don't know how to request time off with out it seeming like I am the only one doing anything around here. I need to find a better approach, I guess. That one doesn't seem to be working.
This is hard. I don't know what to do. There really isn't anything to do. One thing I do know. I appreciate being a mom 100% more when they come back. I miss seeing their faces and the noise of having them home, when they aren't here. Kind of ironic, I guess.
Ok, that was a total vent and if you are still reading this post, and it was killing you to hear me complain, congrats, it is over now.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Daddy is off camera here blowing bubbles. I needed a distraction so I could take a picture. Everytime I take one though, it turns out blurry. I have no idea what I am doing wrong or if it is a setting I have the camera on. Anyone have any suggestions (aside from the obvious....Buy a better camera?) He is sitting there sans diaper after I cleaned up a healthy dump in his pants. Diaper changes offend his sensibilities, so I distract him for a couple of minutes before rediapering, or sometimes I have to use the "Teletubbie Maneuver" which involves calling up Teletubbies from On Demand and letting him watch it. When there is Teletubbies he does not care who is messing with him.
Well, we finally got that baby a haircut. It was about time. His hair was like, four or five inches long on top, and all squirrelly with his cowlicks. It was a baaaad hair cut. I mean the haircut is what it is--the best she could do with a baby that was going totally ballistic in his moms arms. He was less upset a couple of weeks ago when I had to have his blood drawn. I really don't know what is up with it. His first haircut, He sat so nicely, didn't cry, and actually smiled a couple of times. The last few haircuts have gotten progressively worse until yesterday when the baby and I both came home covered in hair. It was awful. It made Amr very nervous. Well, it is over now. Hopefully he will handle it better nextime. Let's just hope next time doesn't come too soon.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Monday, May 16, 2005
Friday, May 13, 2005
WARNING: THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT THE BOY. I want a little reminder of what he was doing at this time, his 17th month. Today, my little man had to get blood drawn. This did not make him happy at all. So, to try to make up for it I got him a Wendys kids meal with chicken nuggets, mandarin oranges and chocolate milk. He loves chocolate milk. I am not surprised considering how many gallons of the stuff I guzzled while pregnant with him. He also just loves French fries but I am trying to cut back on those for him. I didn't even eat mine. Ayman has this thing where he will not eat bites of things. He likes to shove everything into his mouth at once, and figure out how to chew it later. Case in point: I gave him a chicken nugget, smartly broken up into about six pieces, then looked away for a second. When I looked back I had found that he had shoved all but one piece--just about the whole nugget folks, into his baby mouth. His cheeks were stretched out, and he kept on smooshing the back of his hand against his mouth to keep the food he was attempting to masticate from exploding out. Why does he do this? How long can I expect this to go on? He shoves food into his face like I am about to take it away. I never take it away. Oh, well what are you gonna do? I hope this is a passing thing. He is getting really curious about spoons and forks now, so I give him a spoon with dinner. He touches it to the food, then touches it to his mouth. He doesn't actually get food on the spoon, but I see this as a solid start on not eating like a caveman.He also loves the Teletubbies. Now a couple years ago I would have grimaced at the idea of Teletubbies. When I used to babysit my cousins Adam and Jacob, Jake was sooooo into Barney. I hated that purple dinosaur and would have not let it be shown in my presence if not for one thing: if the boys were watching Barney they weren't watching me. That was cool. I am applying the same basic principle with the Teletubbies. Ayman can watch them for half hour (I love on demand TV) and I can do something else, whatever that might be. And that, dear readers, is what keeps Mommy sane. That and working 24 hours a week, when he does't even know I am gone.
Likes:-Petie the dog, oranges eaten with Daddy, French fries, oreos, his blanket and bzaza, cheerios and bananas, trucks, running, The theme song to Malcolm In the Middle showers, and the Ice Cream man (he stands by the window and dances when he comes by)
dislikes:Mandarin oranges, walking on grass, baths, the hand mixer, having his diaper changed, getting the shapoo out of his hair, popsicles, and haircuts Chef Boy RDee raviolis.
Ok, there you have it. A sickeningly sweet post about my baby, but hey, why else did I start blogging? It is all about you Ayman, Mama loves you very much.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
I hope this is the last installment of the Mouse Assassin series. It certainly is the most gruesome. Why you might ask? He looks like he is sleeping. Well, if you look closer you will notice a puddle of mousie blood at the top of the picture and trail of blood from where I dragged the mouse, to put him in better perspective. (this ain't CSI, folks) The picture turned out blurry anyway, because I failed to check it out before I bagged the little guy. Actually , not so little. I think this is the one that flipped me the bird the other night when I went out into the garage.
So let this be a lesson, to all you mice out there surfing the internet. You come to my house and it will be a baaaaaad end to you. The siren call of the ramen and bread is just too much.
This must be the previous mouse's sibling. This trap went off about 30 minutes ago but I was afraid to look. I didn't want to find a suffering mouse, but to be honest this one seemed to do the trick instantaneously. As it should be. Now, we just wait for the big one I saw in the garage, and hope it doesn't get suspicious that members of its family are leaving to eat top ramen, and not coming back.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Tonight I went to go get my self some microwave popcorn. I opened the bottom drawer, where I keep the popcorn, and there were two mice in there. BASTARDS! I knew the the mouse I caught was too chubby for it not to belong to one big-happy-reproducing-mousie family. The two that were in the drawer were smaller. So I set a trap (I can see I will have to get some more) with peanut butter and top ramen. I only had one trap in the house so I went out to the garage. There I saw a larger mouse. Larger than the dead one from the picture. It was taking a leisurely stroll along the crotch bar of my husbands bicycle. FUN! So now, I have three traps set in the drawer, and have found two mousie egress routes. Does anyone have any suggestions, I mean aside from buying like ten more traps and booby trapping this place? I am all ears (and little paws, lemme tell you.) does anyone recommend anything specific to bait the traps? These mice are to darn smart. I think I will put the popcorn they were munching on back in the drawer. OK that is done... Let the carnage begin. Hopefully I will have results by tomorrow, and believe me if I do you will know about it. Gotta love this digital age. BTW, the posts title refers to the fact that my husband says that mice always have friends, so you never have just one. I this case, as far as I have seen it is three. I am not really looking forward to telling him about that.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Okay first I have to say, sorry Mom, I wanted to post a nice picture of the both of us, but I came up miserably short on recent ones so it is Mickey Mouse-ears-Daughter and Prefacelift-Mommy. That being said, this is a mothers day post.
This is a picture of my mother and I last year around her birthday, which is at the end of May. I think it was her 29th birthday, as a matter of fact. Anyhoo, I just want to let everyone know just how much I love her. If you would have told me when I was in high school that my best friend in the whole world when I became a real live adult would be my mom, I would have told you that you were smoking crack (or something to that effect) Well, I am proud to be able to call my mom my best friend in the whole wide world. She has been there for me in the best ways, in all this stage we call adulthood. She was there thru breakups with boyfriends, move back ins, weddings and incarcerations (don't ask) She was there at the birth of my son, right where I wanted her to be, next to me(at least I think she was next to me she could have been delivering him for all I remember....I just wanted him out!) and I Love her so much for all those reasons and so many more it is too hard to name. So, before things get too mooshy, I want to say I love you Mom, Thank you for being you, for me. I hope I can do 1/2 the job you have with me for my children.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
This is vermin. It ate my sons Top Ramen. It had to DIE.
I believe that this is the far more humane way to go about killing mice. That glue trap is awful. I just want them to die. I don't want them to have to mutilate themselves while doing it.
Snapped his neck like a toothpick, Johnny.
Friday, May 06, 2005
I know, I know. I haven't really written anything lately. No Brittany spears trash talk, or complaints about the great state of Florida. Not even a video review (I tired of that after the first three... Just call me adult ADD) Sorry folks. Too much has been going on. Moving not the least of it. I hate to move. There is the packing, the loading and unloading the unpacking then you have to find places for stuff. I have found out that I have way too much stuff. I don't know what to do with all of it. I gave some stuff away before we even left the ghetto apartment. Thankfully. We didn't end up even having to rent a u haul. Then I was at the new place waiting on the guys to deliver the furniture and they said that they were quite reasonable for moving so I made an executive decision-- I paid to have them help me move... As a result we we in the new place a day earlier. Which was nice, I think. However, my new garage is filled with crap and we still have stuff in my dad's garage down the street. I am gonna have to go thru both of out garages so I can have a blowout garage sale. Make some of the money back that I have been spending on this move. I need to go thru all of my boxes and get out my decorating knick knacks to give my mom something to shop from while she is decorating my place. I have decided to leave it up to her and have told her not to consult me, because she hasn't done a think that I haven't liked yet. It will be easier this way and I get a place that looks great because she can really p[pull things together at a reasonable price. I ordered some vintage travel posters for Egypt that I think will look really cool on the walls, and they were supposed to be here yesterday-- I paid for 2 day mail.. How long is that supposed to take these days anyway? 5-6 days? Regardless, I don't have them yet. OK, so that is me right now, add to that 24 hours a week on graveyards at the local hospital, and an 18 month old, and you are starting to get the picture. I will try to do better. Now that I have broadband and dvr I am seeing the world of the possibilities of time management. WOO HOO.